A Malady called Domestic Abuse

The Orlando shooter Omar Mateen was a certified wife beater. While it is still being debated if homophobia or Islamic leanings was his primary motive behind carrying out the heinous carnage, his tendency towards domestic violence is certainly a precursor of the greater violence that he was capable of. However, like all good decent women do, his former wife chose to keep quite about it. That is till he opened fire in a nightclub killing 50 people.

Image courtesy : Getty Images

Remarkably, the incident comes at a time when Paralympian Oscar Pistorius is undergoing trial for the murder of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, who was ironically as campaigner against domestic abuse. He had been accused of violence by a former girlfriend and two weeks before the murder, Steenkamp had messaged the former saying that she was "scared" of him. His plea of 'culpable homicide' was changed to murder given his past record.

Image courtesy : www.independent.co.uk

But even as Pistorius pleads to living in mortal fear of intruders, and walks the courtroom on his stumps to reinforce his vulnerability, we need to rethink if domestic violence is only about physical violence. Does the perpetrator need to have a powerful physique do harm ? What about the psychological aspect of it ?

Image credits : www.newham.gov.uk

Domestic violence is a sad truth. Most of us know a near and dear one who has been touched by it. While we often refuse to acknowledge that it happened in the first place and women are even taught to believe that it is the retribution for something which they did ( or did not do ), these two random and seemingly incidents highlight the dangers of domestic violence. While every wife-beater might not morph into a terrorist or a murderer, we need to be very afraid of these deceased minds.

Book Review : Our Impossible Love ( Durjoy Dutta )

Buy online HERE.


This one should have been labelled 'Our Inscrutable Love'. Or still better 'Our Improbable Story'. For, it is the kind of story that lacks conviction. In some ways, it is rather similar to a masala potboiler Hindi movie but sadly, it trivializes issues like rape and gay rights. Plus the love story between a student and a counselor (deemed as a failure by his own parents) is hardly happening. If anything, it is just too superficial except for a few stray chapters when the author makes you cry and laugh out simultaneously. Not because it is funny but just coz it is so cliched.

Why did I pick this one ?? Now, for the longest time I had been reading mostly mythology written by Indian authors, fiction by Jeffery Archer and heavy philosophical stuff by Murakami/Orhan Pamuk etc. Wanted something lighthearted for a change and this one came highly recommended. Just don't ask me who did it ! Plus I got it on Kindle when there was a good offer .So, now I can happily delete it as I am done. I hate to give away by books even when they are real crappy and so I have a shelf space issue at home. Just the reason why I have promised myself that I every time I buy a book, the next one will have to be an Kindle version.

Getting back to the story, the female lead Aisha is a seventeen year old who is five years late into getting her periods. She is obsessed about it. And when it does come, she creates a scene. Well, that is what the author would like us to believe. Sounds incredible , doesn't it ! But the story gets even more incredible as we are told that the mother suffers from a kidney disease which has left the family under financial strain and the father has to take up whatever transfers comes his way to make some extra money.

The male lead Danish starts out as a loser cannot even garner enough marks to pass his exams. And yet his brother is an IIT genius who has got the startup guys queuing up at the doorstep. Plus, he is real lucky with the girls.

And somewhere in between we are introduced to Sarthak, Aisha's brother who prefers to keep to himself. We later get to know that he is gay and has been planning secretly to get away to Poland just because they gays marriages are acceptable there.

But the saddest part of the book is when Aisha is raped on a date and the manner in which Sarthak gets bullied just because he is gay. While the characters in this book are from a posh Delhi school, the real issue that the author has tried to deal with is 'Campus rape'. There has been tremendous debate on this issue and as to what constitutes to consent of the girl. One of the lines uttered by Vibhor (the accused guy) rightly exposes the attitude of the perpetrators. "Usually girls are so drunk after just one drink", he says and this often used as a excuse for committing the crime.

But the second half of the book in which Danish helps Aisha to cope with the situation and leads her back to a normal life is well written and commendable. Plus the way in which Ankit, Danish's brother, pitches in is quite sweet. The idea of developing an App to help people help others is a good one though not very practical.

This book works in parts and I have a lingering doubt that Durjoy Dutta started writing this one with something good in mind. But the final outcome lacks the desired sensitivity and sensationalizes trivial stuff. Despite all his efforts, one would still accuse him of using sex to sell the book.

Would I recommend it ? Well, he is already quite popular with the youngsters given that his target audience seems to be in the age bracket of 16 to 25. Maybe an overdose of sex works just right for them.

Book Review : Norwegian Wood ( Haruki Murakami )

Norwegian Wood is Murakami's most normal book till date and his most iconic work too !! With a title inspired by the Beatles hit by the same name, it is solely responsible for his legendary status in the Western world. A love story where most of the characters are closely linked by death, it is devoid of a fairy tale ending. But what else can one expect when you have an mad genius like Murakami takes a shot at penning down romance .

The protagonist Toru lives a world of anonymity to escape his past. But the past has a way of catching up with one and he bumps into someone from his past. Naoko is the childhood sweetheart of his dead friend Kizuki. He falls in love with her and from thereon starts his foray into a world of despair.

The book delves into adolescent sexuality, masturbation, dormitory life, student politics and other such day to day issues that most youngsters have to deal with. But the high point of the book is a normal character, Midori. An absolute delight, the girl is almost like a ray of sunshine on a dark and gloomy day. Despite the problems that plague her family, she carries on living with a braveness that belies her tender age. When she falls in love with Toru, she is already in a relationship but cannot stop herself from being drawn to him. She loves him unconditionally and yet she does not let herself be treated as the doormat. Everything that she does makes it quite apparent that she is both human and superhuman at the same time.

Another lovable character is the woman Reiko who shares a room with Noako at the sanatorium. Her story is something that should be shared with every kid's parents. A child prodigy who has her special powers taken away from her suddenly, she describes her state in these moving lines."No more applause, no one would make a big fuss over me, no one would tell me how wonderful I was."

Overall, it is a wonderful book and arguably most enjoyable ( I think I will tie this one with Kakfa On The Shore ) among all of Murakami's works. Yet, if you used to his dark and oppressive volumes, it may actually comes across as a little too lighthearted. But one that cannot be deemed superficial by any yardstick.

Highly recommended !!

Book Review : The Immortal Life Of Henrietta Lacks ( by Rebecca Skloot )

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"A HeLa cell /ˈhiːlɑː/, also Hela or hela cell, is a cell type in an immortal cell line used in scientific research. It is the oldest and most commonly used human cell line. The line was derived from cervical cancer cells taken on February 8, 1951 from Henrietta Lacks, a patient who died of her cancer on October 4, 1951. The cell line was found to be remarkably durable and prolific which warrants its extensive use in scientific research" - Wikipedia .

But Wiki hardly mentions anything about Henreitta Lacks apart from the fact that the cells were taken without her knowledge or consent. Nor do the 14,10,00,000 entries that a google search by the same name throws up. With the cells contributing so much to medical advancement, she certainly deserved for her story to be told. Believe me, lesser mortals have had their lives immortalized in literature and/or celluloid. 

Finally, it took a award winning science writer to take up a story like this one. The author Rebecca Skloot has done a commendable job in telling the story of the poor black tobacco farmer whose family still cannot afford healthcare. With a storyline that deals with Henreitta's life, that of her children and other descendants who believe that they have been cheated out of some very valuable ( true to an extent ), medical progress made possible by experimenting upon HeLa cells and the existential debate of ethics in research, she makes the reader go back and forth between various dates instead of putting things in a chronological order. I find that it is something that has worked in her favor and made the events in the book more relevant from an audience perspective. 

She paints a realistic sketch of what it must have felt to live in a tobacco plantation, the stark realty of the black society, their hush-hush existence during the days of apartheid and finally a family that is torn apart by the loss of a maternal figure, drugs, alcohol and not the least, poverty. The chapter where she is first diagnosed with the tumor and the rapid sequence of it's progression is quite scary. But then, that's cancer for you. It's swift and brutal at the best, and terrifying at the worst.

There are quite a few interesting insights into the kind of research that went into developing a cancer treatment methodology. It has quite some interesting bits, including one about the usage of radium. But more startling is the total absence of ethics in medical research in the 50's era. 'Many scientists believed that since patients were treated for free in the public wards, it was fair to use them as research subjects as a form of payment' more that summarizes the code on conduct of the medical practitioners of the time. 

The most galling part of the book is however the way the Lackses have been treated. Exploited by all and sundry, they are deeply suspicious of the anyone who as much as tries to gather any information about Henrietta. Sadly, the author's quest to get some recognition for the poor family ends on a heartbreaking note when Henrietta's daughter dies quite unexpectedly.

Science nonfiction is a recent thing for me as I am looking to move on from the days when I would curl up in bed with a Robin Cook on my hands. And my curiosity in this book was piqued even as I struggled to make my way through 'The Emperor of All Maladies' by Siddhartha Mukherjee . This one has a definite emotional connect and it hits all the right spots. But one must have a genuine interest in medicine or medical history to go through it's length.

A great book if (and only if) it is the right fit for you!!

Regret (Haiku)

Most of us live with a regret about something that we did or left undone. If we could, we would go back in time and change it for the better ( who know ?? ) but usually it is too late. Even for a 'Sorry'.

Image credits : girlsmagpk.com

" Glazed Sheath of sorrow, 

Unforgiving shards of pain.

Regret! Rears it's head."

Cervical Cancer Vaccine - What You Need to Know

Cervical Cancer - Cancer of the cervix, uterus and vagina are commonly grouped under Cervical Cancer. It is the fourth most common cause of death due to cancer among women. But interestingly enough, it is the most common cancer detected among women in the age group 15-34 years. Among women, it is the only type of cancer that can be caused by sexual transmission.

Causes - Most doctors agree that cervical cancer can only develop if one has been exposed to HPV ( Human Papilloma Virus ), a sexually transmitted infection. And the risk increases as one is exposed to multiple strains of the virus, which is the case when one has multiple sexual partners. But at the same time, not everyone who is exposed to HPV will develop cervical cancer. HPV is just another infection that peters out by itself or goes away when treated with drugs.

The secondary risk factors which increase one's chances of developing Cervical Cancer are -

• Smoking 
• Weakened Immune System - HIV, AIDS and other disease/age can lower immunity 
• Long term exposure to Oral contraceptives
• Multiple Pregnancies are also linked to increased risk.

Who is at a risk ?

1. Women having multiple sexual partners.
2. Women having a single sexual partner who in turn has multiple sexual partners.

Therefore, one can safely conclude that any sexually active woman is at a risk of developing Cervical cancer.

Prevention via Safe Sex - It is impossible to develop Cervical Cancer without being exposed to HPV. Hence practicing safe sex certainly helps in preventing it. But HPV can be transmitted through contact with  infected genital skin, mucous membranes, or bodily fluids. Therefore, a condom cannot provide full protection against it.

Prevention via Vaccination - Gardasil and Cervarix do not provide protection against all strains of HPV. It targets only those HPV strains that are known to cause Cervical cancer. But when one is already exposed to one or more strains of HPV, the vaccine efficiency is reduced. Moreover, the vaccine does not treat HPV if one is already infected nor it is effective in preventing other sexually transmitted infections like chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, HIV, syphilis, and trichomoniasis.

But the vaccine provides some protection against anal cancer, vulvar cancer, vaginal cancer and genital warts. The vaccine's efficiency increases if given at a younger age.

Right Age for Vaccination - The right time for this vaccination is before the onset of sexual activity. That is why it is recommended that it should be given to girls in the age group 11-12 years. But one can still take the vaccine till the age of 26. In countries like US and UK, Cervical cancer vaccination is not recommended for women above 26 years of age. Instead, they are advised to go for regular PAP smear test.

Who Cannot Take the Vaccine ? - Pregnant ladies are advised to stay away from the vaccine.

Note - Once a person is already infected with HPV, the efficiency of this vaccine is reduced.  Or, in some cases, it may even become redundant. Therefore, getting vaccinated is no excuse for skipping the Pap smear test once one crosses 25 years of age ( or even younger if one is sexually active ).

Shame on Me ???

Or is that shame on you ?? For making me ( and all women in general ) feel that menstruation is a cursed act of God and any and all visual images related to it should be hidden from public view. Or at least kept wrapped under layers and layers of brown paper. For that is what everyone including my neighborhood chemist would like me to believe.

Image source : rantchic.com

It so happened that I paid a visit to the neighboring chemist to buy a packet of baby diapers. And since it was almost time for 'that time of the month' , I asked the guy to throw in a packet of my sanitary napkins along with the baby stuff. Now as soon as he put it on the counter, i nonchalantly picked it up and put it in a clear transparent bag that I was carrying with me. As I shoved the money towards him, I happened to catch his expression. The fellow seemed too scandalized for words. I followed his fingers as they pointed at my bag and more specifically at it's offending content. Taking pity on him, I put the bag back on the counter. Almost magically a brown paper bag materialized in his hands and in a jiffy he had the packet covered and placed in my bag. Then only did his expression return to normal. Ok, let's amend that to 'almost normal'.

This was just one of the random incidents that I recollected when I reminisced about my tryst with the sanitary napkin. Everytime I have felt pity and disgust in equal measure for these ill-informed mortals who have been taught to stay away from the 'bad blood'. This wonderful video that I found on FB proves that for all our technological advances, we remain slaves to our own prejudices .

What do you see when you look at this video ? A man peeing in public which is a common sight in India versus a woman holding a packet of sanitary napkins in a see-through bag ( a sort of firsts, isn't it ). At a cardinal level, both of these have to do with the discharge of bodily fluids. But while most people tend to ignore the man's indiscretion, the reactions to the woman perceived imprudence are just about hilarious. Especially the bit when one elderly lady gestured the guy to step away from the girl. What was she expecting ? Was the packet going to blow up if it sensed any kind of male presence ? Or did it contain some kind of contagion that could eliminate the male of the species if unleashed on mankind ?. None, as per common knowledge. They are just harmless layers of gel designed to soak up liquids. But getting back to the man, is there anything aesthetic about a man flashing his dangly bits in public ? If not, why does everyone (save a few) prefer to turn a blind eye to him ? To me, it merely seems that men are allowed get away with anything. And we, the so called 'progressive lot' are just too afraid to raise our voice and do away with this mindless status quo.

Agreed, all that blood can make one swoon ( ahem ahem..do i remember being told that men are the stronger lot ? ) but girls/women of a certain age have to deal with it every month. It is just a sign that the female reproductive system is up and working. Sanitary napkins are just a part and parcel of the whole thing. Not something that needs to be flaunted ( it's hardly that chic) but neither to be kept hidden under wraps. At times, the whole hypocrisy surrounding it seems to be similar to the one regarding the usage of condoms. We know everyone is doing it ( going by the billion plus population ) but we still prefer to live in denial. This scene from the movie 'PK' exposes our hypocrisy in all it's gilded glory.

But honestly, do you really need a martian to arrive on our planet just for raising all those relevant questions ? Why can't we think like 'PK' does ? Let drop the hypocrisy and adopt some rational thinking !!